CHAPTER SIXTY TWO: MY MARATHON

CHAPTER SIXTY TWO: MY MARATHON

Here’s the scoop, the really, really big scoop for Sunday, February 24, 2013. I, the apprentice sea woman, the not-so-good-with-knots trainee, the fender bender, the one who has been known to throw a line on shore without fastening it to a cleat on Slow Motion – yes, that’s the one. Me, myself and I, and the Admiral of course, navigated our way across the Gulf of Mexico from Marco Island to Marathon, some 100 nautical miles, over a 10 plus hour period, which included four hours of DENSE FOG. I don’t think that is enough emphasis for the hardship we endured, but we just couldn’t see beyond our bow! And still we completed this marathon journey to Marathon without hitting another boat or even dinging one of the three million crab pots that populate the Gulf. And here’s the best part – I navigated the whole way!

What does that mean, you ask? It means that every quarter hour for ten hours, starting at 7 a.m. I wrote down the coordinates for our position, the latitude and longitude numbers, then the course and speed at that time. I plotted these latitude and longitude figures on a chart of the waters we were crossing to see if we were on the course that the Admiral had previously entered into the Garmin GPS system. As we journeyed further and further south through the Gulf, passing Cape Romano Light and heading for Bullard Bank, I noticed that we were about four miles off the course we needed to be on to reach Bullard Bank, which has a green “17” marker and which is the first marker we intended to use to get to the seven mile bridge. I brought this to the Admiral’s attention and he asked me to plot the course we needed to take to get to Bullard Bank from where we had gone off course. I did this without hesitation and with great confidence – this is a first in my short navigation career. I gave the Admiral the course we now needed to take, and we took it and got to Bullard Bank pretty quickly after that. We made up the four mile deviation in about 15 minutes. The next day the Admiral checked his coordinates and determined that he had programmed the wrong latitude coordinate for Bullard Bank, 4 minutes off. A minute of latitude is a nautical mile. Case solved. And in the meantime we made it to Marathon without any further course deviations. I felt a real sense of accomplishment in contributing to our safe passage across the Gulf and arrival in Marathon. Yes, I’m taking a virtual bow, as I write this.

When we arrived at the Marathon Marina at about 4:15 p.m., we were ready to tie up and collapse. But of course that would not be a typical day in our cruising life. If there is no complication at the beginning of the journey, and despite the hellacious fog in the middle of the journey, we were bound to face one more obstacle before achieving dockside nirvana. And sure enough, there was a trawler tied up on the dock where we were supposed to pull in. We were first told that they were leaving “in a few minutes”. A half hour later and a visit by the very capable dock master, "Philly" Judy, got them stirring out of their lethargy and they truculently started their engines and headed to their assigned spot. During the half hour of impatient waiting, we were told that they said they had engine problems. This revelation came right after they asked if they could “just stay where we are” and were told “no”, the boat that was assigned this face dock position was waiting for them to leave. That’s when the specious engine problem reared its ugly head. Okay, they may have had engine problems, but we were ready to help them move forward or backward, so that we could just stop idling a few yards away and pull in and tie up after a very long, arduous cruise. But Philly rules – wherever you go, may you be lucky enough to run into a native of Philadelphia who knows how to get things done without any fanfare and especially without any B.S. That’s Judy, the best dock master in the world on Sunday, February 24, at Marathon Marina.

One of the coolest things that happened during our cross of the Gulf of Mexico was that I saw the bottom of the Gulf as we approached Marathon. The Admiral kept telling me that not all the water in Florida was black with pollution and that when we got to the Keys I would be able to see through the water. He said we could snorkel when we got to Key Largo. But here we were approaching Marathon, and as I looked down from the port side at an infinite row of crab pot markers, lo and behold, I saw the bottom of the Gulf. I was looking straight down and saw an actual crab pot. I saw shells, I saw sea grasses, and I saw a yellow turtle swimming toward Slow Motion. Yertle the Turtle had come to welcome me to the transparent waters of the Keys. I was so excited, like a little kid who got the pony she had wanted for her birthday. Really, I was that excited. And the yellow turtle was just an extra special present, showing me that the water in this area does not kill all beautiful sea creatures. That turtle was miles from land, but there were probably some very shallow areas nearby, as we were traversing through 7 and 8 foot depths. We also saw the biggest porpoise we have seen to date. Not only are the waters so much cleaner here, but the wildlife appears healthier. The pelicans are huge. And the sea grass, how cool is that! It can hypnotize with its graceful undulating motion.

We’ve been in Marathon one full day. It’s Tuesday, February 26. Once we finally docked, friends from Calvert Marina in Solomons, Maryland, Jake and Michael, came by in their dinghy to visit. They have been moored at Boot Key for the past month. Their dinghy is a small inflatable with one seat and a 6 hp motor. Don’t get me started about our gargantuan dinghy. Our Boston Whaler sits perched atop Slow Motion, weighing her down by several hundred pounds. It has a huge outboard motor. The upside is that it is an unsinkable boat. I like that plus very much. But the size and weight of the Boston Whaler is such that we have never, ever taken it down to use it. And so, it was very cool to tool around in Jake and Michael’s dinghy, to putt putt up the channel to “park” next to a ladder at Burdine’s marina and restaurant. We dined on really big, really healthy chicken club sandwiches – fresh cooked chicken! Yum. What a perfect way to end a very long, eventful day.

Jake and Michael filled us in a little bit on their aborted trip through the Panama Canal. They made it in their 49 foot catamaran to Isla de las Mujeres in Mexico, where the graft and corruption were off the charts. It’s great to see them looking so happy and rested in Marathon. Last night we went to see Zero Dark Thirty at the Marathon movie theater, which shows one movie on Monday night every week. The Admiral passed, commenting that he had “lived” that movie and did not need to re-live it. The acting was very good, although the movie was a lot longer – 3 hours – than it needed to be. The torture scenes were more than disturbing, and every time an IED exploded and killed a lot of people, I jumped in my seat. That was a lot of times over three hours. The movie theater, which seats about 100 people around café tables, was completely quiet at the end. There was no cheering for the shooting of Bin Laden. I think we were all worn out.

At the end of the movie, we went to my rent a car and exchanged books. I gave them three very heavy hard cover books and in return I received more than a dozen paperbacks. I hope they “enjoy” Unbroken, Canada and Lacuna. Unbroken is certainly one of the most inspirational books I have ever read – how Louie Zamperini survived both being lost at sea for days and days in a small raft with two others after their bomber crashed and being held captive in several Japanese prisoner of war camps is an incredible story. He developed a really strong faith in God, but it wasn’t until he had returned to the US after the war, become an alcoholic and was dragged to a Billy Graham revival in Los Angeles that he dedicated the rest of his life to service. This book is well worth reading. The author, who also wrote Sea Biscuit, lives most of her life in her upstairs bedroom, suffering from Epstein Barr syndrome, a condition that makes you feel extremely fatigued all the time. Fortunately, she has a partner who helps immensely with the daily living elements of her life and researchers who bring her the results of poring over tons of documents and photos from Louie’s part of World War II in the Asian Theater. Her condition has not adversely affected her writing ability, except that it takes her an extremely long time to complete a book.

It’s really muggy in Marathon, 85 degrees, overcast and humid. I’m not complaining, just reporting on the conditions here. I saw the snow photos from Pocono Pines and Kansas City – the snow is indeed beautiful after it first falls. But I also remember the gray to black color it turns as it’s shoveled to the sides of the roads and picks up all the road grime. And I remember how sometimes I thought I would never feel warm again, once the wet cold got into the marrow of my bones. So summer weather in February is quite nice, thank you. If it means that I have to visit a State where the average citizen is old enough to be, well, my much older sister or brother, then so be it. I will not knock Florida for having a large senior citizen population. Yes, some of the elderly tend to block the aisles in the supermarket, as they try to remember what they were looking for. Or they may not drive the speed limit. But try driving in Miami or Ft. Lauderdale, where the average age must be 25 and see if you really, really would prefer testosterone driven guys pushing the pedal to the floor in 450 horsepower Mustangs or trucks, flying in and out of lanes, blasting misogynistic rap songs, over the genteel, SLOW, driving of Florida’s senior citizens. And dang, there are indeed a lot of old people in this State. With age obviously comes the wisdom to know that the winter months should be spent in a summer-like climate. Lead on, Gray Panthers!

 

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE: ON THE MOVE AGAIN

CHAPTER SIXTY ONE: ON THE MOVE AGAIN

“On the road again, I can’t wait to be on the road again.” Even though it may now just be a hazy blur for Willie Nelson, he knows what it means to be on the move. Yee-hah!

We left Legacy Harbour at 7:20 a.m. with the sun at our back, for a while, and not much wind, for a while. As the day progressed, and we maneuvered around shallow waters of 3 to 5 feet, the sun came over our heads and blasted the Admiral straight on. And the wind beat up our San Francisco Giants pennant pretty good. As the Admiral sits in the salon this evening, he glows a burnt sunset red. With my history of basal cells, I apply the sunscreen daily and am neither glowing nor burning. Will the Admiral change his ways? Not likely. He says this was a good day to “get accustomed” to the sun, so he can tolerate more burning in the future. Venus and Mars again.

It was a beautiful day for our first travel in the Gulf of Mexico, white caps and all. These were seas with waves of “about 2 feet”. Add to that the six feet wakes that some of the fast (read rude) boaters threw up, and we had some rough moments. But all in all, the Gulf was kind to Slow Motion and her trepidatious passengers.

The radio traffic was another story. My God, it was like a soap opera out there today. First, a lady called in a loud, fearful voice that a man was in the water and yelling “Help.” She insisted upon talking to the “local” Coast Guard, even though the Coast Guard radio person told her that St. Pete IS the closest she was going to get. As she was dickering over whether she would talk to this Coast Guard rep, presumably the man was still in the water yelling “Help!”. Once satisfied that there was no Ft. Myers Coast Guard, she told the CG rep that there had been a huge fight on a houseboat, and this man who was yelling “Help!” was either thrown off the boat or jumped. As she told the story, she said: “You know, they can hear every word I’m saying to you, and I’m afraid they’ll come after me next, so please get here!” She was screaming her lines on the emergency channel, VHF 16, so all boaters could hear, not just the fighting ones. Then she reported that the yelling man had made it to an island, but was heading back into the water, still screaming “Help!” And the houseboat fighters were just “hanging around”, not helping the man and not leaving either. Everything was happening near “green marker 7”, so you can bet any boat that was nearby headed in the opposite direction. Not that boaters aren’t a helpful lot, but it’s really best to avoid a fight, when you don’t know what weapons the other side is bringing to the battle. We were not anywhere near green marker 7.

This drama was eclipsed by a real life emergency, when a woman called to report that her husband was apparently suffering a heart attack. Boy, did the helping professions move fast on that one. The Coast Guard, the local Sheriff, the local police, Sea Tow – everyone seemed ready to come to their aid. As we listened, and the woman was asked for her husband’s age and nationality (no kidding), in between helpful suggestions on how to dislodge anything in his airway, the police arrived and took the husband off to a hospital in their boat. This happened in a matter of minutes. We were left wondering whether any of the officers who showed up stayed on the boat with the woman and helped her get the boat to a port near the hospital. That’s something we’ll have to investigate. You never know when a medical emergency will arise, and you’re the one calling the Coast Guard, police, fire, sheriff, Seatow for help.

I could tell you about some bonehead navigation mistakes I made today, like starting to follow the private markers into a very shallow channel rather than staying in the Okeechobee Waterway Channel, or like mistaking the height of a day marker for its number (which was “SC”, not “16”, the height). But then you would lose confidence in me and wonder whether I had actually passed my Boating for Women course last month with flying colors (I did.) I put myself on probation today, however, after those errors. And it didn’t help when, at the end of the day, instead of tying up at a face dock on the port side, we ended up backing into a narrow slip and tying up on the starboard side. Naturally, I had all the fenders down on the port side and the lines were ready to be handed off to Bruce, the dock master at Rose Marina. So when we got the word at the last minute as we pulled into the marina waters, that we were backing into a slip and had to tie up on the starboard side, I noted that I had just two fenders on that side and all the lines had been neatly bundled and tied to the railing. I scurried to untie one of the lines to hand off as we backed into the slip. Bruce was there waiting. Then I ran to untie the next line to hand it off to a helpful neighbor in the slip next door, who suggested I better get some fenders down. All my best laid plans for the port side docking – for naught. This is the hard lesson I learned today: Prepare the lines and fenders to dock on either side at all times. Meanwhile, the Admiral acted completely unflappable, backing Slow Motion into the tiny slip like it was a piece of cake. I remember just 10 months ago we didn’t think this could be done without damaging either a piling or the side of Slow Motion. But now, with nerves of steel, the Admiral made it look easy today. Only later did he “confess” that he had some concern about this quick change of plans, and when the wind in the marina kept pushing Slo Mo’s bow in the wrong direction, then he had some real concerns about getting into the slip. But somehow he did it, while all the time I was fumbling with the lines and the fenders. This docking is still tricky stuff for me.

Ooh, ooh, the speedster ferry just arrived at our dock from Key West! The Admiral insists that we watch the people as they debark. It’s kind of a cross between watching a parade and watching animals at the zoo. Some of them wave at us, so who’s being watched? This ferry looks really eerie at night, sleekly black and white with a lot of bright Las Vegas lights. And it disgorged a city’s worth of people, almost all with suitcases. This must be the great Key West diaspora we’ve been hearing about. Just kidding! Were they coming to Marco Island for the weekend, or returning from a week of debauchery in Key West? Next time, we’ll have to do an on the spot survey as they pass Slow Motion. This is clearly a happenin’ marina, with a Tiki Bar in full Friday glory, a beer and wine joint dispensing chili and Fox News (or was it chilly Fox News?), and a 21^st century fast track ferry boat pulling into our dock under cover of dark.

I have one question for Laura Bush: When you tell Larry King on television that you support gay marriage, do you really think that is a private conversation and that no one will disseminate your views? Lighten up – you won’t be excommunicated. You’re not Catholic. And if that’s what you believe, then be proud and say it loud: “I support gay marriage.” That would be a great legacy for you as a champion of civil rights, something that your hubby will not be remembered for. Do it for posterity. Do it for yourself. Just do it. And while you’re at it, how about equal pay for women? Asking too much? I thought so, but I had to give it a try.

Back to the journey. We await calm waters to travel to the Keys. And right now, it’s expected to be calm on Sunday. If so, we will rise at dawn and take off soon thereafter because the trip will take 10 hours, if we can sustain 10 knots an hour. It is about twice the distance we went today. With the additional speed, we will need calmer waters than we had today. We were averaging between 6 and 7 knots today and it was pretty choppy at times. Stay tuned to this station for the next exciting adventure of Slow Motion, replete with the latest list of legerdemain – hahahaha—if only I were competent enough to pull off some maritime tricks. Anyway, if you want to feel superior to someone, this is the place to read. Can I travel for a whole year on this boat and still not have the skill set needed to be an able captain or first mate? Tune in next blog, and the next blog, and the next blog, to find out.

 

 

CHAPTER SIXTY: INTO THE GULF – AND BEYOND!

CHAPTER SIXTY: INTO THE GULF – AND BEYOND!

It’s Thursday, February 21, and we’re getting ready to leave Legacy Harbour at Ft. Myers early tomorrow morning for the Rose Marina at Marco Island. Then with any luck at all, we’ll make a break on Sunday for Gulf of Mexico, heading to Marathon or Key West, both 100 miles away from Marco Island. This will be our first “century” day on Slow Motion, 10 straight hours on the water (at a minimum) if we can keep up a pace of 10 mph.

We just went to Publix, the closest thing to Disneyland that South Florida adults have, and stocked up on milk, carrots, yogurt, cookies and lollipops – all the basic food groups. Good thing I’m not lactose intolerant like my siblings, or I’d have to replace half my diet.

The Admiral has plotted into our GPS the waypoints for both Key West and Marathon, and we’ll decide which way to go, based on the weather reports. Tonight the flags are pretty still, but there’s a prediction for winds of 10 to 20 mph tomorrow afternoon. Ten we can deal with; twenty would not be comfortable at all. The waters we travel are rather shallow, so any wind creates a wave; the shallower the water, the bigger the wave and the closer together they are. I think I’m saying that right. If not, the Admiral will correct this part of the Blog.

Our neighbor at Legacy Harbour has a sailboat that he plans to take in one very long 21 hour day from Ft. Myers to Marathon – with a captain. I wonder if that’s how Marathon got its name – because all the boats that arrived there spent nearly 24 hours on the water trying to get there. Probably not – but the origin of its name is not as obvious as “Key West”, for example.

We’re celebrating sunny days in the mid-70’s again after a weekend of “cold” – for Florida – temps that actually went down to 40 at night. The cold pretty much ruined the fun at the Festival of Lights parade Saturday night. This is related to Edison’s choice of Ft. Myers as his winter home – I thought it was a Mardi Gras thing, but no, it’s the electric light bulb that takes front and center stage here in February – and every other day of the year too.

When we’re not traveling, I don’t have any anecdotes about how I goofed up with the lines or the fenders (thank God). Our marina lives are pretty much filled with errands – to the grocery store, the post office, the Lab, Wal-Mart’s, CVS, Lowe’s, Starbucks – and with our main avocation – fixing the boat. Here’s a list of what we fixed in the last five weeks at Legacy Harbour:

1)    Serviced navigation and anchor lights

2)    Bought teak steps for cockpit entry

3)    Installed searchlight

4)    Tightened shaft seal on port engine

5)    Installed new Garmin VHF 200 radio and tested it

6)    Diver cleaned bottom of boat, replaced shaft zincs

7)    Diver cleaned seacocks to generator and heat pumps

8)    Clean Fuel and Tank, Inc. determined fuel levels in auxiliary tanks were equal and removed and cleaned cross-leveling pipe between tanks

9)    Completed work on generator – installed new heat exchanger (Ray)

10) Installed teak steps in cockpit

11) Pump out

12) Rob and Sons investigated possible fuel drip on port engine; Rob tightened fuel supply fitting to lift pump; Rob relocated protective sleeve on starboard engine return line to prevent chafing; Rob replaced pins on both engines; Rob verified no leak in port engine

The last work done by Rob and Sons was completed today. And so, knock on wood, we should be able to leave Legacy Harbour early tomorrow in our finely tuned Slow Motion – unless of course, there is a leak. And then we’ll return and find it and fix it. That’s life in the Slow Motion lane. Something is always broken – we just need to find it and fix it, so that we can continue on our way. The next time you put some work into your house, be grateful that it is not a boat. You don’t have to get its bottom cleaned. You don’t have to put zincs all over to prevent corrosion. You don’t have to worry about bad smells coming from the bilge. AND you don’t have to sleep right on top of big tanks of diesel fuel. That still astounds me after all these months of doing just that.

In those rare moments when we are not arranging for a repair, we have been able to do a little exploring, including a trip to Marco Island to scope out our next marina. And as you know from my most recent blogs before this, I enjoyed the string music that the Curtis on Tour trio offered in Ft. Myers as well as the displays at the Edison Ford Museum down the road. The Admiral is not big on holidays. In fact, the Admiral doesn’t celebrate any holidays. So for Valentine’s day I rode my bike in a rainstorm to the nearby CVS and got a big box of chocolates for the marina staff – Sheila, Lana, Eric – who have been sweethearts, even in our darkest hours when Wi-Fi stopped working for a week. I really like to celebrate holidays, so I get my joy by giving. What a surprise when I received my very own chocolates from Janie the day before Valentine’s day! And you know who ate every one of them – yep, the guy who doesn’t celebrate holidays, just eats his way through them. We both thank you very much, MJ, for thinking of us on Valentine’s Day. You are an original sweetheart.

It’s time to hit the sack, almost 9 p.m., and we have a long day tomorrow on the water. One other enjoyment we share when Slow Motion is docked is the New York Times Crossword puzzle – for Sunday, Saturday, Friday, Thursday and Wednesday. The Admiral says Monday and Tuesday are too easy. He’s right. We’re back to January and February, 2005. Sometimes we get through a couple of months’ worth in a week. I am SO ready for Senior Jeopardy – or bring on the young’uns too! The Admiral’s trivia knowledge is complementary to mine, but he swears that sometimes he just pulls a long answer right out of his, well, you know, and it hurts too, he says. Our Sudoku skills are fading, but the NYT crossword puzzles – even Saturday – seem to be getting just a little bit easier. We have to remember the time frame we’re in – for instance, Obama was a senator and there were different movies and TV shows in 2005. But that makes it even more challenging. You’re probably saying to yourselves – What nerds! Guilty as charged. But if you want some of my Jeopardy winnings, just don’t say that to my face, okay? Good night.

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER FIFTY NINE: MUSIC FOR THE SOUL, CPR FOR THE HEART

CHAPTER FIFTY NINE: MUSIC FOR THE SOUL, CPR FOR THE HEART

Here’s a little known fact: Ft. Myers is the classical music center of the world. Well, at least it was this past Friday night, when “Curtis on Tour” stopped at the Sidney and Berne Davis Arts Center in Oldtown Ft. Myers. For almost two hours, the President of Curtis Institute of Music and an award winning violist, Roberto Diaz, a 1994 graduate and virtuoso violinist, Steven Copes, and a current Curtis student, Tessa Seymour, cellist protégé (she played at Carnegie Hall in 2007), took me and the rest of the audience soaring through pieces by Schubert, Dohnanyi, and Beethoven. I didn’t even know that Beethoven had written any pieces for trios. Turns out that he did not write very many, but his Opus 3 (Trio in E flat major) was a good closing piece. I especially liked the slow, romantic movement. The only reminder of the “real world” was the extremely loud sound of motorcycle engines roaring down First Street near the end of Beethoven. Apparently, there was a “Hog” convention nearby. Pity.

The Dohnanyi piece was the stunner of the three compositions. I had never heard of this composer. Mr. Diaz gave us a short introduction to him and to this work, which starts with a march and ends with the same march. But that doesn’t begin to capture the essence of the piece. It was the Serenade in C major for string trio, Opus 10, composed in 1902. Erno Dohnanyi, who preferred being called Ernst Dohnanyi, was Hungarian by birth. In his time he was probably as famous as Bela Bartok, who is now much more well known. When young, they both attended the Budapest Academy of Music, apparently at the same time. Dohnanyi spent his last years teaching at Florida State University, and in 1960 when he went to New York to record some of his piano compositions – he was a great concert pianist – he caught pneumonia and died. Dohnanyi was controversial in Hungary for years for political reasons, which are unclear to me. He aided Jewish musicians during the Second World War. One of his sons was executed for being part of a 1944 conspiracy to kill Hitler. The other was killed in combat. Dohnanyi the Elder left Hungary after the war after a “whisper campaign” (Wikipedia) was started against him by the post-war communist government of Hungary. He fled to Argentina, Mexico and finally came to the United States.

Anyway, what you need to know about Dohnanyi is that he loved Brahms, Schubert and Beethoven, and his music reflects that love. He was not an imitator, however. As a renowned concert pianist he played Beethoven all around Europe. He does not have a huge discography. And so, you are not likely to hear his music, unless a group of dedicated musicians like the trio from Curtis treat you to one of his compositions. I don’t think, for example, that he had anything to do with any of the football fight songs for Florida State University. One of the very cool things about traveling around the country is being able to visit places like the Edison Ford Winter Estates and listen to the music of Ernst Dohnanyi – two more firsts for me. I had no idea what to expect in Ft. Myers, except the Admiral told me that the Edison Ford as a place worth spending hours at. And he was right. The longer we stay at a place, the more opportunities I look for. This past week, I was missing music, especially classical music. And voila! The Curtis Trio came to town and quenched my thirst for at least an evening. The venue was spectacular -- an old post office turned courthouse turned art museum with high ceilings, a huge disco ball, super polished floors so you could see the musicians right side up and upside down, and a front row seat, just three seats away from Ms. Berne Davis herself, the benefactor of this Art Center. Picture her in her concert black dress and jewels, and picture me in my dark blue jeans and scuffed topsiders. But that’s beside the point – the music was the point. And it was marvelous. If you ever get a chance to go to a Curtis on Tour concert (for twenty bucks), Do It!

Another opportunity I took advantage of was a three hour CPR class for friends and family at a local church. This was the bomb! The three instructors were super – two EMTs and a firefighter. It was not a class which earned you certification, but it was a hands-on class that everyone needs to take, at least once, if you have never been taught CPR or the abdominal thrust maneuver (for choking). You can actually save lives with what we were taught from 1 to 4 p.m. today. A lot has changed in the CPR world in just the past three years, according to my instructors. Studies showed that compression was the most important part of CPR, and therefore, anyone administering CPR should start with compressions, 30 of them (to the beat of the BeeGees “Staying Alive”). Then you proceed to ventilation, or mouth to mouth resuscitation (2 breaths). So you administer 30 compressions, then breathe twice into the unresponsive person, then go back to 30 compressions, followed by two breaths. Got it? Two hands for adults (age 9 to infinity), one hand (palm of hand) for children (1 to 8) and two fingers for infants (under age 1). Count out loud; it’s the only way you’re going to remember when you get to thirty. I can tell you this, but if you haven’t taken a CPR course, please do for your own peace of mind. This is one of those learning experiences I always wanted to take while working, but never found the time. Ah, the joys of retirement! I finally found the time to learn how to save a life. And that abdominal thrust movement for choking? Yep, it used to be called the Heimlich maneuver, but the royalty demands of the Heimlich family led the Heart Association and other life-saving groups to drop the family name and go with “abdominal thrust”. Works for me.

We don’t know how long we’ll stay in Ft. Myers. We are scheduled to leave February 14, a day that ostensibly has no meaning whatsoever for the Admiral. But since every day with him is special in its own way, I can’t say I really miss the roses or the chocolates or whatever else the merchants want us to buy each other on Valentine’s Day. Back to when we leave Ft. Myers – our month at Legacy Harbour is up on the 14^th, and we have reserved a slip at a marina on Marco Island, our first stop on the way to Key West. The problem is this: The route to Key West is almost all open water, not a protected waterway, and the open water is rather shallow. This means that any wind will kick up large waves that are close together and make for a very rough passage. The winds on the 14th are okay, but the winds on the 15^th and 16^th, when we are supposed to be heading from Marco Island to Key West, are supposed to be 20 knots – too much for Slow Motion to make safe passage. So we may have to spend another week in Ft. Myers, until we get a window of at least 3 days of calm seas to travel about 100 miles to Key West. The irony of having to wait is that last week, the seas were calm for 4 days straight. But we didn’t leave early because we’re in the midst of getting our generator repaired. The last part, the heat exchanger, just arrived Friday, and it has to be installed this coming week. So when we’re finally shipshape again, that’s when the winds start blowing. That’s what I mean about being so dependent on the weather when you’re cruising. We could drive to Key West, no sweat. But we just can’t safely get Slow Motion to Key West in 20 knot winds.

Here is a reminder: If you come to Florida call me or the Admiral. We’ll be here or in the Bahamas, just 50 miles away, for the next few months. We would love to see you. We missed out on a visit with a good friend, who was in Naples for at least a week. Naples is really close to Ft. Myers. I learned that she was in Naples, as she was heading for the airport to head back to Oregon. I’m gnashing my teeth over that missed opportunity. And really, this is the place to be in February and March, even April, if you can stand warm weather day in and day out. Sure, there are a lot of “old people” who have retired to Florida and are driving the retirement Cadillac. There are also the sunbirds, tons of them from Canada on Florida’s West Coast. You can categorize and classify Floridians and look down your noses at them because they’re old or retired or sun seekers. You can do that, but that would be wrong. That would keep you from meeting people who have had the most interesting lives, so far, and intend to keep their lives interesting. So leave the stereotypes at home and come to visit us in Florida, because it’s beautiful, it’s warm and – when was the last time you had a chance to cruise on a 50 foot boat, try your hand at catching a big fish, or soak up the sunshine in the winter? The only thing that would make this entire experience better for me and the Admiral would be visits from our friends and family. So if you’re reading this, pack a suitcase, head to the airport and call us to let us know you’re on your way.

CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT: SEMINOLES UP, FLORIDA WATER DOWN, AND Break Out Another Thousand FOR SLOW MOTION

CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT: SEMINOLES UP, FLORIDA WATER DOWN, AND Break Out Another Thousand FOR SLOW MOTION

Chapter Fifty Five of this Blog was entitled “How about them ‘Noles?” The Admiral said that not everyone knows what ‘Noles’ stands for. It stands for “Seminoles”, of the Florida State University variety. And long-time football coach Bobby Bowden always asked: “How about them ‘Noles?” after a particularly satisfying win. So I plucked it out of the football context and put it back into the historical context of the Seminole Indian tribe, a tribe that refused to move, refused to lose, and refused to die. As a consequence, they have thriving casinos all over Central Florida today. They have other, less garish testaments to their survival as well. I just checked their website, and they are very proud to have established their first “smoke shop” in 1977, which sells lots of tobacco products and brings in lots of revenue, along with the casinos. That’s not what I meant by “less garish testaments”. However, the smoke shop revenue is helping them achieve their goal of economic independence – at the cost of how many lungs, I don’t know. On the more positive side, they provide $1 million dollars a year to education for Seminole tribe members. I can hear Dr. Evil saying “One Meellion Dollahs”. Still, it’s not chump change. And they added two new reservations (that’s good, isn’t it, sort of?) to increase their total federal trust land in Florida to 90,000 acres. The land has to be pretty valuable, even if it’s not along any of Florida’s coasts. At any rate, the descendants of the Seminoles who survived the Removal Act and the 3 Seminole Wars appear to be doing pretty well in Florida today. According to their website, they employ more than 7,000 employees (not known if they are Seminoles) in their casinos, hotels and other businesses, and they buy more than $130.3 million in goods and services every year. I wonder how much they take in every year.

I have not been to a Seminole casino or smoke shop, so I can’t personally vouch for their financial well-being. It would be nice if I could relate that the Seminoles have invested in alternative energy sources, like solar or wind power. But there is no indication that they have. That doesn’t make them any more or less progressive than the rest of the political groups in Florida, as far as I know. I have not read or heard much about alternative energy sources while in the Sunshine State. There was only that 1931 quote of Edison: “I’d put my money on the sun and solar power.” Eighty two years later and we’re still driving around in those darned internal combustion machines which Edison’s buddy, Ford, mass produced for us, and which continue to deplete the oil and gas resources around the world.

Not that I’m down on Florida for our oil and gas dependency. We can all share that problem. But I can be down on the Governor of Florida (Scott) and his business cronies for decimating the State clean water programs. We are docked at Legacy Harbour on the Caloosahatchee River, and this river is really, really filthy. There was a recent article in the local newspaper about a guy who went fishing on this river and got a small cut in his thumb, when a fish hook snagged it. There was a little bleeding at the time, but nothing to raise concern. Then as the days and weeks passed, the thumb got really red and started to throb. The fisherman (also an environmental law attorney) went to an ER to get his thumb checked, and it was severely infected by a bacterium from the Caloosahatchee River water. He nearly lost his thumb, but the doctors made heroic efforts to save it for him. According to the photos, the thumb required lots of stitches, once the infected tissue was removed, but it appears on its way to recovery. I don’t know if he has any feeling or mobility with this thumb. The rest of the story was about how Governor Scott has reduced the size of every clean water agency under his power, particularly in Southwest Florida. He has also replaced any agency head who is an environmentalist with a businessman, who just might have a conflict of interest between his business goals and the goal of cleaning up the rivers of Florida. These actions of Governor Scott appear to be so short-sighted. What is Florida, or any state, without its natural resources, starting first and foremost with clean water?

We now are very wary of the “murky dismal” waters that surround Slow Motion. The other night, as I was getting back on to the boat, the Admiral’s polarized sunglasses, which were hanging from my T shirt, dropped into the water. Yikes! I reached in without thinking and pulled them out. As I looked at them, right before my eyes something, I don’t know what, but something was eating through the glass lenses, destroying the polarizing layers. It was really scary to behold. I washed the glasses off as soon as I got to the galley, but to no avail. The damage had been done in less than a minute in the river water. Then I thought about my hand that had retrieved the glasses. I washed it again and again with anti-bacterial soap, and I checked for any cuts or open wounds. That was a few days again, and I’m still washing. The Admiral had his own scare when he jumped off Slow Motion in the night two nights ago and slipped and one leg fell into the river. He came back in and tore off his jeans and washed them down with city, non-river water. I washed them the next day with lots of detergent. Fortunately, he did not cut himself. But this is no way to live – in fear of the water that supports your boat, takes you to the places you want to go, and supposedly provides food and shelter for a variety of fish and other animals. Wake up, Florida, clean up this river! Do you want it to catch on fire like the Cuyahoga River in Ohio did several times between 1952 and 1969? I didn’t think so. Put the money back into the clean water agencies and put people in charge who will work tirelessly to clean up the Caloosahatchee and all the other polluted rivers in Florida. Please. Trust me, tourists love, love, love clean water.

Okay, here it is, a Super Bowl mention. The ad with the guy chasing the cheetah who was chasing the gazelle – high five! Do I remember the product? Some kind of running shoe, but no, I don’t remember the brand name. I remember the guy and the gazelle winking at each other after the guy hog-tied the cheetah. Oh, and the game – all you would hear from me would be sour grapes about the officials who lost control of the game early on by not throwing flags for all the pushing and punching, and who apparently missed the classes on pass interference, both offensive and defensive. Hats off to the Ravens, who won despite the poor officiating. Joe Flacco is for real. Both teams had too many glory-seekers pounding their chests and extolling their own virtues ad nauseum, after a routine tackle or a gain of a few yards. Yuck! I understand that this game is driven by testosterone (probably some of it artificially high), but so are most sports. At least, as of yet, we don’t see a golfer running around the edge of the green pounding his chest and screaming and high fiving bystanders when he makes a par. Or a tennis player doing these shenanigans after hitting a 130 mile an hour ace. Or a soccer player who scores doing a stupid dance for 60 seconds next to the goal. Or a baseball player hip hopping around the bases after a home run. (True, Kirk Gibson limped around the bases and pretended to be pulling on a chain saw engine, as he miraculously hit a homer for the Dodgers against the A’s in the World Series. But what do you expect from a Dodger?) And don’t get me started on the praying in the end zone. Whatever you believe, whoever your God is, please don’t belittle Her/Him by praying to Her/Him for a win in a sporting event. I beg of you, please don’t do that.

As to our stay at Legacy Harbour, it is being prolonged by the most recent problem that the Admiral discovered in his frequent check of all the equipment on Slow Motion. That is the generator. We need the generator, and the Admiral found out that it had not been maintained properly, so the water cooled exhaust system parts corroded and developed leaks. Sounds serious, and it is. We could use an entirely new generator, but that would cost about $18,000.00. So we’re going to replace the failed parts with used ones, as new ones are not available for at least 8 weeks. Not that we don’t want the best for Slow Motion, but we don’t have 8 weeks to spend in Ft. Myers waiting for parts. I’ve been to the Edison Ford Museum three times. It’s wonderful, but enough already. We’re ready to move on to Key West. And the weather is perfect today for traveling. The forecast is for perfect weather for the next few days. We should be off to Marco Island, then going 100 miles in one day to Key West from Marco Island. But alas, we wait for the generator repair person, quite impatiently at this point. What do you want to bet that as soon as we get the generator repaired the weather turns ugly, and we won’t be able to cruise to Key West? I know, I know, some of you are still dealing with real problems – working 60 hour weeks, slogging through sleet and snow, changing diapers and wiping noses for germ-laden toddlers, paying your bills and having enough left over for a night out once a month at a pizza parlor. Sorry to bother you with our minor troubles in paradise. The pity party is over.

I know you have gorgeous sunrises and sunsets wherever you live. Still, I never cease to be amazed every day by the sunrises and sunsets over the water. My iPhone has practically run out of space to store anything else, because I have hundreds of photos of these natural beauties. And no matter how lovely the photo is, the actual sunrise or sunset is at least ten times lovelier. We just can’t catch all the colors on the iPhone camera. If you are not doing this already, do yourself a favor and watch your own sunrises and sunsets every day for a week. This should be a great natural mood elevator. And take a few photos and send them to me. If you’re in a location where you don’t see the sunrises or the sunsets, then by all means come and visit us. We’ll fix you up right away. There is no seasonal affective disorder (SAD) on Slow Motion. Don’t go another day without the palliative power of the sun as it rises and sets.

CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN: BACK TO SCHOOL WEEK

CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN: BACK TO SCHOOL WEEK

For the past week, minus a Monday all day visit to Dr. Sokol in Tampa, I have gone back to school – Trawler University, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida – to learn how to pilot, navigate, dock, steer, turn and otherwise control Slow Motion, our 50 foot motor vessel. The first two days back at school I joined a group of 15 other women to take a two day seminar called “Women Only Boat Handling”. We were divided into two groups: single screw and twin screw. It’s not what you’re thinking, probably. The number of “screws” is the number of engines and propellers on the boat. Slow Motion is a ‘twin screw’ motor vessel. So I was in the twin screw group with Captain Andrea Gaines. We held our class mostly on a forty foot twin screw catamaran that is awkwardly named “Grampster’s Endeavor”. Go figure. And we cruised around the Ft. Lauderdale Harbor, leaving our dock at Bahia Mar Marina and heading for the many bridges in this area that require an opening for any boat with a height of more than 23 feet. Each of the eight of us with Captain Andrea took our turn at steering “Grampster”, and we all learned how to turn the boat around in fairly tight quarters. We also learned what to say when we hail a bridge tender and we learned the rudest bridge tender in the world is the guy who was tending the Sunrise Avenue bridge around 2:30 p.m. on Tuesday, January 29. Yes, you know who you are. And we DID contact you before you opened the bridge and asked for the 2:30 opening. But with your short term memory loss and/or misogyny, you claimed you did not hear us and lowered the bridge just as we were ready to pass under. No hard feelings. Really.

The Goddess of our group is Patricia, who has owned four different motor boats (with her doctor husband) in her life, all while they lived in the boating capital of the desert, Henderson, Nevada. When we introduced ourselves and our reasons for taking this class, almost everyone said she had performed some functions on her boat, mostly handling the lines and fenders and helping with the docking. But Patricia told us that she had not done anything at all on any of the four boats, except wash the dishes. Her husband not only did all the piloting and docking work by himself, but he also did all the cooking. Captain Gaines asked her why she wanted to change what appeared to be a great situation. And Patricia admitted to being a little bit embarrassed that she knew nothing about how a boat operates and she actually was afraid of handling such a heavy piece of machinery, especially going under bridges. This is a woman who has run her own businesses, managed the family accounts and run the household on land. She is not afraid of work; she just thought that boating was her husband’s thing and wasn’t really interested – for the past thirty years!

What a difference the two day class made for Patricia! The first day at the helm she was scared and kept pointing the boat toward the shore. When asked why, she said she wanted to see the houses on shore better – like from the inside! By the second day, she was steering the boat under bridges and learning all the technical stuff like she was going to head up the next America’s Cup challenge. We had a quiz at the end of two days and she got every answer right. It was such a remarkable transformation in such a short period of time. Hats off to Patricia and to Captain Andrea and the rest of us for giving Patricia the confidence she needed to play a “hands on” role in running the boat(s) in her life.

This seminar was really good for me too. I learned how to turn the boat using the gears and the throttles, without even touching the wheel. I learned that once you turn to the right or to the left, as soon as possible, you need to return the rudder to center to correct your course. I learned that docking can be fun, even in fairly high winds and stiff current. And I realized that I have actually been learning quite a lot these past 8 months on Slow Motion with the Admiral as my teacher, but what I was missing, just like Patricia, was confidence. So I developed a healthy dose of confidence during this two day seminar too. Can I tie a bowline? You betcha! Can I tie a clove hitch? Most of the time. Can I tie the lines to the cleats on the dock? Some of the time. But I know I can do this now. Nothing can stop me – not even a rude bridge tender. Isn’t that the best thing you can take away from a course – both the knowledge of how to do something and the confidence to actually apply that knowledge to “get ‘er done”?

On Thursday I moved right on to classes on the VHF radio on the boat and the electrical systems on a trawler. Yes, these can be mind-numbing subjects, but not when you’re motivated to learn everything you possibly can, in case the Admiral becomes ill or goes on strike, and the responsibility for communicating with the bridges, locks, marinas and other boaters falls on me or we have an electrical problem out on the water and I have to try to figure out what it is, while the Admiral is steering Slow Motion. One class in the radio and one class on the electrical systems did not provide me with everything I need to know. But they’re a start – a very good start to help me “keep my head in the game”, as the Admiral is always asking me to do. Today I attended the class on tides and currents – not as informational as the classes on Thursday, but somewhat helpful in stressing the importance of knowing the tide range and the currents in the area where we’re cruising, so that we know when to leave a marina and whether to take a particular route. The Admiral is an expert at this stuff, and I know I’m playing catch up, but with renewed vigor and purpose, as a result of this week of classes.

We’re staying at the Bahia Mar Hotel, a Hilton Hotel, which is sponsoring the Trawler Fest. Passage Maker, the magazine for trawlers is the presenter. The teachers come from the boating community. They have been very good, but the written materials are zilch during the sessions. Afterwards, you can pay $20 for a pamphlet of the power point slides you just watched. And what’s the deal with the U.S. Power Squadron? They ask you to “register” for each course, so that they have a record of your having taken it. But they have no sign in and sign out sheet, so all you have to do is fill out the registration form and leave. Not that any boater would ever do that, for insurance purposes or otherwise. But the administration of this conference is a little slack. Tomorrow is my last seminar “Bahama Bound”, a course that will prepare me for cruising with the Admiral in the Bahamas this spring – I hope.

During the hours that I have been learning how to handle Slow Motion, the Admiral has been driving back and forth from Key Largo, visiting his lobster fishing buddies and checking out the Key Largo marinas for a month’s stay starting the third week of February. Somehow he’s also managed to squeeze in just a few visits to West Marine, CostCo and WalMart. Tomorrow after my last class, we’re heading back to Key Largo so I can check out the marinas and we can have our traditional meal at Mrs. Mac’s. No doubt about it, the Admiral loves Key Largo and all the memories of his past exploits as a lobster fisherman as well as his family vacations when his daughters learned how to swim and put on aquatics shows for posterity. The films are great!

We have also enjoyed some of the finest restaurants in the Ft. Lauderdale area, including Li’l Red’s Barbecue on Route 84, where the barbecued ribs make the Admiral swoon. We returned to Primanti Brothers Restaurant last night for our Pittsburgh pizza, which has the freshest tomatoes and cheese, plus enough sausage for two pizzas. It’s right next to the tattoo parlor and up the street from Yo Mama’s Ice Cream. Don’t forget to bring quarters for the meters. Tonight, if I play my cards right, it’s Lenny’s Subs. Who needs to get all dressed up to go out, when these proletarian purveyors of fine foods welcome us in our jeans and tees?

It’s been eye opening to see so many cruisers in one place. They’re from California, Canada, New England, New Jersey, the Midwest, Florida and the South. Some folks don’t even have a boat, but are in the market to buy one so they can do the Great Loop and mark that off their “bucket list”. Yes, despite the fact that I insisted that this phrase be banished from further use, a lot of cruisers introduced themselves using it. “The Great Loop is on our bucket list.” The Admiral and I are getting a bit disenchanted with the  Great Loop as a be-all and end-all goal. There is a least one bridge along the Loop that is too low for Slow Motion, no matter what the tide is. And now the Mighty Mississippi has become the shallow Muddy Mississippi after these last few years of drought along its shores. We’re reading how hard it is for the commercial boats to get through. And they always have the right of way over us pleasure seekers. Idling bow to stern for hours or days with a bunch of boats on the Mississippi, waiting for the commercial traffic to go ahead, is not my idea of pleasure boating. So we’ll see. Right now, we’re facing a huge challenge with the100 plus miles day of cruising from Marco Island to Key West. Let’s see how we do on that, after we take off from Ft. Myers in mid-February.

As I enjoyed my learning experiences at Trawler U this week, I was always mindful of Sondra’s “date” with the interventionist who does angioplasty on February 1. I know she’ll sail through the procedure with flying colors, and the interventionist will learn a lot from her, as he does the procedure. This is one procedure where you remain conscious and get to participate in the decision-making, I think. Well, with Sondra, she will play a very active role in deciding what to do. She is a dream patient in many ways, because she gets as fully informed as possible and knows what questions to ask. She also has a strong B.S. detector, which works all the time. I’m pulling for you, Sondra! You can do it!