CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT: HAPPY AS A CLAM IN MARYLAND

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT: HAPPY AS A CLAM IN MARYLAND

I’m sure there are clams somewhere in Maryland, but we don’t catch them in a trap hanging off the stern of our boat. And we don’t see them in the local seafood places, including Bunky’s on Solomons Island. So they should be happy that we are not catching them and boiling them to death, as we do the legal size crabs. Okay, I said it, we are killing the crabs we catch and keep – instantaneously. This will not lead to a job in a slaughterhouse any time soon. But it is a new experience for me, seeing my dinner alive minutes before it is ready to be served as the main course. I am guessing that the crabs are not happy about this outcome. But since I am quite happy at the moment, I liken my happiness to that of the clams which we are not catching and killing for dinner.

The current weather makes me very happy. It turned fall two nights ago. We needed a blanket. Let me repeat that – we needed a blanket. We don’t stick to the sheets any more. I can go two days without having to wash the sweat off my skull. I wore a sweat shirt. Art wore socks today. It’s sunny, clear and in the 70’s, with LOW humidity. It’s that wonderful period of the year we call Septober. Everyone is walking around on the dock with a spring in their step. We all go for walks. I even walked the dock master’s dog, Gigi (labradoodle), with a boating neighbor, Jake. I got a bike, and rode it to “town” – a strip mall two or three miles away – and outfitted it with a very padded, very wide, very comfortable seat and a big, removable basket. No more “courtesy” bikes of indeterminate age and model with one speed – slow. My new used bike has 18 gears and I used 12 of them yesterday. It was a great workout. I used to ride every Sunday on the Rec Trail from Monterey to Marina and back with Sondra, but we stopped. Now that I’m in a no-car situation (except the rentals), my new used bike is my new best friend.

This is Wednesday, September 12, the day our ambassador to Libya was killed. The Admiral and I both read a lot of news sources every day, including the Monterey County Herald and the New York Times, each with its own charm and individualism. But, truth tell, it’s the weather that always grabs our attention. Over the weekend, the Admiral noticed that a pretty big squall was coming our way, and he sounded the alarum for all our neighbor boats. Even as we talked about the size of the storm, the sky darkened considerably, and we all withdrew to our boats to tie a few more lines and, yes, batten down the hatches. We got a lot of rain, but winds that were 60 mph in areas near us reached “only” 39 mph around our boats. We survived another scare with heads up weather watching and good preparation.

Sunday night about 18 boaters all went to the Laughing Buddha for Chinese. We caught a ride with Cindy, a former nursing home administrator from the west coast of Florida. Bill, the guy with the Romney baseball cap, rounded us all up. HE should be running for president. Getting boaters to go to dinner at the same time in the same place is a little like herding cats. Turns out that most of the other boaters tied up at Calvert Marina know each other very well. They have been coming to this place for years, and they stay for a pretty long time. Except for Michael and Jake, who have a South African catamaran, the rest of the boaters all have Kadey Krogens. I know, I know – what is a Kadey Krogen? It’s apparently a very expensive yacht, and people who own them have a natural affinity for one another. The affinity is so close that they “rendezvous” once a year for 4 full days of seminars, parties, dancing, and loud political fights at the Calvert Marina. We expect the influx of forty Kadey Krogens any day now. Our boat sticks out – we are not getting it washed, waxed and polished like the KK owners are doing to theirs. We are pumping out the waste and trying to clean out the forward bilge. This will not prettify our boat, but believe me, it is necessary maintenance.

My catamaran neighbor, Jake, is a wonderful source of information – and books! Jake and Michael are traveling to Hawaii, via the Panama Canal. They bought their boat in South Africa, hired a captain and served as the captain’s crew from Capetown to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Wow! Imagine crossing the Atlantic Ocean AND traveling the whole length of both Africa and South America. So I guess crossing the Pacific is not a daunting task for them. They’re traveling with a Canadian couple – four brave souls headed to paradise. I asked Michael how long the journey would take, and he intoned: “The rest of our lives.” Jake said it would take 4 or 5 years. They have four grown children. Michael still works as an IT consultant in DC, and Jake is still in demand to teach courses on government contracts and labor law. She was the government contract attorney for Ross Perot’s firm (EDS), but didn’t have to live in Plano, Texas. Her office was in Herndon, Virginia, near the places that award the contracts. And she plans to fly back from the catamaran to teach courses, whenever they stay in one place long enough to accommodate her teaching. Hey, Monterey County, would you like me to come back and teach a course periodically on how to pick a jury? I used to be pretty good at it. Ask Berk.

Jake has hundreds of books on board their catamaran. She lent me 8 books – mostly murder mysteries and real life crime stories. I’m reading Lisa Scottoline’s “Dead Ringer”. Nothing like a 6 foot tall solo practitioner in Philadelphia who tries cases and solves murders on the side – who also has an evil twin sister who tries to kill her golden retriever. I’m not liking the portrayal of twins in the book, but Bennie, the protagonist, explains that her mother could not support both girls, so placed her twin up for adoption at birth. Ouch, that would hurt for a lifetime. Yes, this is a bit farfetched, I admit, but there has to be a very strong motive for your twin to turn against you. And certainly “Mom always liked you better” (carried to the extreme of abandonment) can justify a modicum of bitterness and thoughts of retribution.

For those of you who have been wondering about the Admiral’s strong attraction to Wal-Mart and my equally strong aversion to it, here’s the scoop. At practically every marina where we have tied up, we have gone ashore for groceries. At first we sought out the Publix grocery stores, which were so plentiful in Florida. Then Publix disappeared from the landscape. We tried Food Lion, Piggly Wiggly, Harris Teeter, Giant, Farm Fresh – and Wal-Mart. Here comes the confession. I now shop at Wal-Mart. I have overcome my aversion to it. I am not in the Admiral’s league, as he poses for their “Men of Wal-Mart” calendar – clothed and unclothed versions. But I really like certain foods they sell – their peach yogurt is the best (and of course, the cheapest, given the low wages they pay). They have had consistently fresh corn on the cob. They offer red-skinned potato salad. Their paper products cost less than anywhere else (see “low wages” above.) They have the Admiral’s diet peach iced tea mix for less than anywhere else. At any rate, I have visited enough Wal-Marts that you can probably see me on one of the many YouTube videos of Wal-Mart shoppers. I’m making this personal confession, so that you are not overwhelmed with amazement at seeing me next to the 300 pound man in the plaid shorts and Hawaiian shirt, fighting over the last Bounty paper towels.

Okay, I’ll just give you a little to let this shocking news settle in.

Back to Kadey Krogen owners. According to Jake, who has attended at least one rendezvous party, they appear to be fairly evenly divided between the conservatives and the liberals, with a few moderates – where else? – in the middle. This surprises me a little, but hey, good to know there are boat owning liberals. We haven’t met too many in our journeys. I guess you recognize them, because they’re the ones not wearing Romney caps. And by God, if liberals and conservatives who own the same kind of boat can get together, plan seminars, park their valuable boats in close quarters, PARTY, and discuss politics without coming to blows, what’s the matter with Congress? Shape up! Buy a Kadey Krogen! Get with the program! Hey you, Paul Ryan and Steni Hoyer, I’m talking to you! If you governed this country like these owners manage their boats – constant vigilance, preventive maintenance, loving care and attention to detail – we’d be in great shape. Just remember – don’t touch Medicare. Our sons and daughters and grandsons and granddaughters deserve what we’re getting. Heck, our friends under 55 deserve it too.

So I’m happy. The Admiral and I had a wonderful time last week with Mary Jane and Mike Reber. They took us to the Captain’s Table on Solomons Island. If you ever have the fortune of dining there, order the crab salad. You will not be disappointed. Or the fried oysters. Or the soft shelled crab. Shucks, you can’t go wrong with their seafood. But I will personally vouch for the crab salad. Speaking of food, the fresh white corn is still available – yummy. Sorry, Royal, but I had two great garden tomatoes purchased from a farmer at a little produce stand. And, yes, we have two caught and cooked crabs in the fridge. The Admiral made SOS for breakfast. We’re eating well. My stomach is growling as I write this – so long for now, and happy clams to you.