CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR: ART! BIRDS! KEY LIME PIE! ART!

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR: ART! BIRDS! KEY LIME PIE! ART!

We’re tied up at Marina del Mar in Key Largo. We (the Admiral, Barbara and I) arrived here on Monday December 8. Barbara stayed until the 10^th, when I drove her to the Ft. Lauderdale Airport to return to California. It was a short visit, but a great one – filled with works of art. Our slip on the New River was just a few blocks away from the Ft. Lauderdale Museum of Art. That was our first stop on the way to the world-renowned shops on Las Olas Boulevard. We spent nearly two hours in the museum, and we could have spent another hour at least, exploring the wings where their permanent collections are housed. What we did see was an exhibit called “Café Dolly”, which features the works of three artists, Francis Picabia (French, 1879-1953 – with Spanish heritage); J. F. Willumsen (Danish, 1863 – 1958); and Julian Schnabel (American, born 1951). This exhibit was put together by the Willumsen Museum in Copenhagen in 2013. It was a hit there, and I expect it will be a big hit in Ft. Lauderdale. The title for the exhibit “Café Dolly” refers to Dolly, the first cloned sheep, because, like Dolly, these artists have “challenged cultural norms, notions of authenticity, genuineness, as well as ethical and moral issues.” That’s what the exhibit flyer says, and it sounds pretty good. It’s also right on. These guys have done some weird paintings – also some incredibly beautiful ones. Does the name Julian Schnabel ring a bell with you? It did with me, so I looked him up, and lo and behold, he’s a film maker too, born in Brooklyn and educated at the University of Houston. His films include Before Night Falls (Javier Bardem’s Oscar nominated role) and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, nominated for 4 Oscars. When he’s not directing films, he breaks a lot of plates, literally, then affixes them to large canvases, and finally paints his subject (portrait or landscape or something in between) on top of the broken plates. Okay, it may not sound appetizing, but it is really delicious. Check it out on line, or better yet, go to the Ft. Lauderdale Museum between now and February 1, 2015 to see his technique live. I’m not going to spill the beans about Willumsen’s eccentric style – you’ll just have to see it yourself – hint: broad black or white brush strokes across an otherwise “traditional” portrait, so that eyes are “blacked out” or other body parts “whited out”. As to Picabia, let’s just say he loves the female body and leave it at that.

We followed through on our threat/promise to take Barbara for ribs at Li’l Red’s on Route 84 in Ft. Lauderdale. The place was jumpin’. That 450 pound deputy sheriff was not there, which is good, because there was no room for him. A large family had taken the booth and long table which he usually fills by himself. The ribs did not disappoint, and the French fries are not slackers either. This dining experience made our stay in the Yacht Capital of the World complete, and we were ready to head to the Mia Marina in Miami the next morning. Fortunately for Barbara (and me), I had to return the rented car on Monday morning at 7:30 a.m., when the Enterprise office opened. So we did not leave before dawn. We made a very civilized departure at 7:45 a.m. And we were expecting to travel all of 25 miles or 3 to 4 hours to the Mia Marina. But, of course, we had a (let’s say it all together) “change of plans”. The Admiral pointed out to us that the ocean was unusually calm – he was correct. It was not exactly a mirror, but very close to it, certainly like a bath tub with no waves, hardly a ripple. He said he could not guarantee us such calm seas the next day, and he strongly suggested that we would be NUTS if we didn’t take this rare opportunity of smooth waters to cruise all the way to Key Largo on Monday. He predicted that we could arrive at Marina del Mar before “The Princess”, a huge glass bottomed boat, came barreling down the narrow canal at 4 pm and before low tide, which also was scheduled for 4 pm. It would only require turning our planned 25 mile excursion into a 90 mile cruise and bypassing Miami and the pleasures it held out for us. I told you in the last blog that Barbara is a gamer, so she signed on for the day long ocean voyage, and off we went -- hello and good bye, Miami!

We kept an eye out for porpoises, but this was not their day. They love the Indian River, Hawk Channel not so much. We also looked for turtles, because we had seen a huge green turtle swimming next to Slow Motion on the trip north. But, alas, no turtle sightings either. However, we arrived at the narrow canal entrance at 3:15 pm, plenty of time to avoid a collision with The Princess at the aptly named “Crash Corner”. And here we were in Key Largo on Monday, December 8. That meant we had all of Tuesday to play in the Keys. And Barbara and I quickly determined that we could visit the Chihuly Glass Sculpture Exhibit, which opened December 6 at the Coral Gables Botanical Gardens, on Wednesday, December 10, on our way to the airport. So the change of plans worked well – as it usually does, when the Admiral suggests a 10 to 12 hour day of cruising over a 4 to 5 hour one.

Tuesday I took Barbara with me to my tai chi class – at first, there were about 5 of us. Lyle was the instructor, and he’s excellent. He’s in his 80’s and has the best legs – he should wear only shorts. He is also extremely well versed in the tai chi moves and knows how to break them down for us novices. We ended up with a packed class, as about 20 more people piled through the Lions Club door at 9:01 am. There were a lot of good tai chi veterans to watch and imitate, as I struggled to remember the various forms. The names of the moves are priceless – “carry tiger to mountain”, “push fan through back”, “part the wild horse’s mane”, “white crane spreads its wings”, “step back and repulse monkey”. I am not kidding. And as we concentrate one hundred percent of our brain power and body movements on doing these positions one after the other, we are driving out the “monkey brain”, as Lyle calls it – banishing all mundane thoughts and worries – making every tai chi move “intentional”, even the “empty steps”. The vocabulary for tai chi is sensational. Barbara fit right into the class, having taken a few beginner’s tai chi classes during her travels in Asia. After the class, we rewarded ourselves with a Keys breakfast at Doc’s Diner, where the malted waffle reigns. None of the wait staff was certain what a malted waffle is, but one waitperson said it has “malt” in the batter, just like beer has malt in it. With that ringing endorsement, Barbara ordered the malted waffles, and according to her, they were lighter than other waffles and very tasty.

Realizing that we had a lot of driving to do the next day, we put off a drive to Key West, and went to a few of my favorite places in Key Largo. The Wild Bird Refuge is one of those locales. It’s not really a tourist trap – there is one sign that you usually notice after you have passed the tiny entrance to the Refuge. There is no charge to tour the grounds and visit all the birds; they simply ask for donations. But if you want avian excitement, this is the place to go. Once you get past the very homely turkey vultures and the carnivorous owls, you come to the land of the shore birds and water birds, where giant pelicans rule the roost. They are so used to humans walking around in their habitat that they make no effort to move, as you approach them. It’s not like you want to pet them, but they give you so much pleasure just watching them waddle around on the wooden walkways. The snowy egrets and white ibises have to take a back seat to the pelicans in personality, but they are amazing creatures in their own right.  I have visited this place three or four times, and I always want to go back, especially when the birds are being fed – talk about a feeding frenzy – do not get between a pelican and her food. I repeat: Do not get between a pelican and her food.

Since we gave up our day of shopping at the Mia Marina mall, I took Barbara to Shell World, a huge store – okay, tourist trap – which carries much, much more than shells. However, they do have thousands of shells too. And they have coral from Indonesia. It’s a huge no no – a crime – to take any coral from the reef along the Keys. So tell me why do we allow coral from Indonesia to be imported and sold in this country? If we keep elephant tusk ivory from being imported, can’t we also keep fragile coral from being ripped off the reefs in Indonesia by refusing to import it? I’m just asking.

The last stop for our Key Largo Day was at Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen. The Admiral joined us for dinner there. It was, are you ready? – prime rib night. The prime rib melts in your mouth, like buttah. I told Barbara this, but she wanted to “go native” with a seafood motif. So she ordered conch fritters as a starter. That is not what Mrs. Mac’s is known for. And they still will not be known for them, so long as they serve them slightly burnt and greasy to the max. When the manager asked how everything tasted, we mentioned that the conch fritters were not palatable, and he whisked them away and took them off the bill. That’s another reason we love Mrs. Mac’s. Barbara did much better with the mussels. And she was given a complimentary dessert to make up for the fritters debacle. You guessed it, Mrs. Mac’s famous Key Lime Pie. Now that is a dish which always lives up to its hype. So we may have started weak, but ended very strong with the creamiest Key Lime Pie in the world. And did I mention that the prime rib was like buttah? (It was.)

On Wednesday, Barbara and I drove to the Coral Gables Botanical Gardens to see the Chihuly Exhibit. This is something you have to see – but you can only see it at the Botanical Gardens – until April 1. Chihuly himself placed some thirty or so major glass sculptures at perfect locations throughout the 80 acres of the Gardens. This is his third show in this venue. And it is fabulous. First, you ride a tram around the Gardens for 45 minutes, as a guide points out both the art works and the flora you are passing – at a very slow speed. Then do as we did, walk back to your favorite places and take lots and lots of photos, each one a work of art. I could have taken thousands of photos. It was a sunny day, and the sun makes some of pieces sparkle like crazy. You can tell that Chihuly is very familiar with this environment, as some of his glass sculptures blend in so well with the plants around them that they can be mistaken for plants. Chihuly is alive in Seattle – blind in one eye – but going strong. Get a Chihuly calendar for 2015. It will brighten any room where you hang it. Thank you, Robin and Nancy Miller for introducing me to Chihuly. And thank you, Barbara, for telling me about this show. It was amazing!

Say hey, if you want to visit the Admiral and me between now and April 1, I guarantee you that I would drive you to the Chihuly Exhibit, if you show the slightest interest in going. Or we can do the more watery things – like snorkeling, glass bottomed boat cruising or diving. Well, you can do the diving. Also, there are 4, count them, 4 pools, to swim in – fully covered with sun screen. And we’ll always have Mrs. Mac’s. So get your rear in gear – and come to Key Largo while we’re still here. Today, December 22, it was sunny and in the 80’s. Oh, I might have mentioned that before. My apologies to those of you heading out the door with a snow shovel or an umbrella. We really like sharing this paradise with our friends and family members. Keep that in mind, as you try to make it through another dreary January or freezing February. I’m just sayin’….

Closing note: Thank you, Sister Sue, for giving me my new favorite T shirt, which says: “Earth without Art is just “Eh”. I don’t know where you find these things, but that’s a winner on Slow Motion. 

 

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE: CHRISTMAS PRESENCE IN FLORIDA

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE: CHRISTMAS PRESENCE IN FLORIDA

I just reread the last chilly chapter (142 – Brrrr!) as I sit in my t-shirt, shorts and sandals at the Downtown City Docks of Fort Lauderdale. It’s Pearl Harbor Day and we’re in warm, humid Florida, with the arctic blasts of wind off the docks at Sail Harbor a very distant memory. Space heaters have been put away. Ditto for the thermal underwear and mittens. Now our chief concern is not the weather, but the goofy and loud boaters who fly by Slow Motion only inches away, as they head downriver on the New River. We are docked just below the Third Avenue Bridge, and it’s a busy one. Apparently Florida does not have a law against boating and texting or boating and talking on the cell phone, or they are not enforcing it. Most of the near misses with our boat and the boats docked behind us are by “captains” (using the term very loosely) paying full attention to their cell phones, leaving no attention for where they are going in their multi-ton boats. Fortunately, the mega yacht owners are smarter – they hire Towboat US or another towing service to tow their yachts through all the bridges on the New River, which has more twists and turns than a corn row braid. So it’s not the big guys that scare us. It’s the little guys, who don’t seem to know any of the rules of the river and who are clueless about the damage they can do to a boat like ours upon impact, who really, really scare us.

Speaking of scared, I am very concerned about Dorth, a college friend who is currently in Abu Dhabi. Two Americans were recently targets of assassination there. A school teacher was knifed to death in a public bathroom, and a second American was supposed to be bombed into oblivion, but the bomb attempt failed. Yes sure, the woman covered with black robes who was seen on video entering the building to stab the young American teacher was caught. But what about the whole support group who set her up and chose her target for her? On the video a man approaches the door of the building and looks around. Shortly thereafter, while he’s still posted at the door, the black robed woman comes to the door. There appears to be an exchange. She enters, he leaves. Where is he? WHO is he? I’m not saying that women can’t be lethal assassins in their own right, but this killing appeared to have been planned, and with the placement of the bomb at the other American’s door shortly after the stabbing – by the same woman, we are told – either she’s a one woman wrecking crew or she’s got some help in both the planning and execution of these hate crimes. On the off chance that someone from Abu Dhabi is reading this blog, I will not disclose any information about Dorth or why he/she is in Abu Dhabi. But, hey, if you read this blog, Dorth, get the hell out of there!

Back to the travel portion of this Blog: The cruise from Sail Harbor on Wilmington Island, Georgia to Fort Lauderdale is a blur. Don’t ask me where we stayed last Tuesday night, or Wednesday for that matter. We were up at 5:30 every morning and on our way by 6:30 a.m., before dawn’s first light, and we crashed at a different marina every night. I think I took a shower at one. Most nights we were in bed by 7 p.m. wondering if it was too early to fall asleep, then nodding off for the next eight hours to awaken around 3 a.m. It was too early to leave, but not too early for the Admiral to start thinking about the water hazards of the day or the weather predictions or the speed of the current or the fast boaters who cause huge dish-breaking wakes. This is the romantic life of boaters. No we’re not shoveling snow, but I assure you we face our own challenges every day.

And then it’s all worth it, whenever the first porpoise of the day rises out of the water and starts swimming toward Slow Motion’s bow to engage us in another boat/porpoise race. The Indian River is chock full of porpoises right now, so we had multiple races in one day. These guys and gals were BIG – I wonder if the nuclear power plants along the way are somehow increasing their size. Or if they’re getting more milk in their diet. They are the most playful mammals in the world. One of them played hide and go seek with me for several minutes, as he/she swam from the port side to the starboard side and back, and only rose out of the water directly under the bow. She was camera shy, I guess. But she really seemed to enjoy having me run from side to side on the boat trying to capture her on film. Others came in groups, two on each side, and they did 360’s or just did half turns so they could eyeball me better. Oh please, please, in my next life, let me return as a porpoise, knowing what I have learned as a human.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in Fort Lauderdale, with every palm tree covered with lights and Santa and his rein deer flying on top of the Jungle Queen tourist boat. As Cath said yesterday, it’s not the Christmas we grew up with, in Michigan and Pennsylvania respectively, but after years of Christmas in California, I can adapt somewhat to the southern Florida Christmas scenario. You’re just not supposed to sweat at Christmas time, unless you’ve been shoveling snow for hours. And Santas all over Fort Lauderdale and Miami must be sweating bullets, as they walk to and from their air conditioned malls where they greet the believers. The traditional evergreen Christmas trees look a little bit out of their element in downtown Fort Lauderdale, but what’s Christmas without a Tannenbaum? Every city with a waterway is having a Christmas boat parade. We have our Christmas lights for Slow Motion, and when we get to Key Largo in a few days, we’ll dress her up. That’s another thing we didn’t have in Bethlehem, the Christmas City, when we were growing up – a boat parade down the Lehigh River. It was probably frozen over most years.

My friend Barbara is joining us for the trip from Fort Lauderdale to Key Largo. She has traveled to every part of this world at least once – okay, maybe not all of Africa and perhaps not Antarctica – but a lot of places, like Bhutan (who goes to the happiest land in the world?) and Machu Picchu. She has traveled by plane, bus, car, tuk tuk, train and boat – but this is her first time on Slow Motion. I hope the New River crazies don’t drive her nuts tonight. But it’s Sunday, and most of the weekend boaters will be home watching football – with any luck. We’re taking her to Red’s, the premier bar BQ ribs restaurant in the western hemisphere. Oh sure, we could dine at some chi chi place on Las Olas Boulevard, but where’s the fun of that? Barbara’s a gamer – she’ll do fine at Red’s. And early tomorrow we’re off to Miami in search of the remains of the Art Basel event. If we can’t find the Chihuly Exhibit, we may have to settle for cruising the mall at Mia Marina. Oh darn. Barbara weaned me off buying things at full price, as she introduced me to the 50% off sales racks. I am forever grateful that I’m not the last WASP paying retail prices. However, I’m not a great shopper, not even a good one, but it’s fun to watch a master at work. And Barbara is a master. We’re going to pick her up now.

Just one last thought: Honor the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom on December 7, 1941. And pray for the men and women in uniform who are protecting us today. If you know a veteran, give him/her a big hug and kiss. Come here, Admiral, it’s your turn!