CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE: CHRISTMAS PRESENCE IN FLORIDA

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE: CHRISTMAS PRESENCE IN FLORIDA

I just reread the last chilly chapter (142 – Brrrr!) as I sit in my t-shirt, shorts and sandals at the Downtown City Docks of Fort Lauderdale. It’s Pearl Harbor Day and we’re in warm, humid Florida, with the arctic blasts of wind off the docks at Sail Harbor a very distant memory. Space heaters have been put away. Ditto for the thermal underwear and mittens. Now our chief concern is not the weather, but the goofy and loud boaters who fly by Slow Motion only inches away, as they head downriver on the New River. We are docked just below the Third Avenue Bridge, and it’s a busy one. Apparently Florida does not have a law against boating and texting or boating and talking on the cell phone, or they are not enforcing it. Most of the near misses with our boat and the boats docked behind us are by “captains” (using the term very loosely) paying full attention to their cell phones, leaving no attention for where they are going in their multi-ton boats. Fortunately, the mega yacht owners are smarter – they hire Towboat US or another towing service to tow their yachts through all the bridges on the New River, which has more twists and turns than a corn row braid. So it’s not the big guys that scare us. It’s the little guys, who don’t seem to know any of the rules of the river and who are clueless about the damage they can do to a boat like ours upon impact, who really, really scare us.

Speaking of scared, I am very concerned about Dorth, a college friend who is currently in Abu Dhabi. Two Americans were recently targets of assassination there. A school teacher was knifed to death in a public bathroom, and a second American was supposed to be bombed into oblivion, but the bomb attempt failed. Yes sure, the woman covered with black robes who was seen on video entering the building to stab the young American teacher was caught. But what about the whole support group who set her up and chose her target for her? On the video a man approaches the door of the building and looks around. Shortly thereafter, while he’s still posted at the door, the black robed woman comes to the door. There appears to be an exchange. She enters, he leaves. Where is he? WHO is he? I’m not saying that women can’t be lethal assassins in their own right, but this killing appeared to have been planned, and with the placement of the bomb at the other American’s door shortly after the stabbing – by the same woman, we are told – either she’s a one woman wrecking crew or she’s got some help in both the planning and execution of these hate crimes. On the off chance that someone from Abu Dhabi is reading this blog, I will not disclose any information about Dorth or why he/she is in Abu Dhabi. But, hey, if you read this blog, Dorth, get the hell out of there!

Back to the travel portion of this Blog: The cruise from Sail Harbor on Wilmington Island, Georgia to Fort Lauderdale is a blur. Don’t ask me where we stayed last Tuesday night, or Wednesday for that matter. We were up at 5:30 every morning and on our way by 6:30 a.m., before dawn’s first light, and we crashed at a different marina every night. I think I took a shower at one. Most nights we were in bed by 7 p.m. wondering if it was too early to fall asleep, then nodding off for the next eight hours to awaken around 3 a.m. It was too early to leave, but not too early for the Admiral to start thinking about the water hazards of the day or the weather predictions or the speed of the current or the fast boaters who cause huge dish-breaking wakes. This is the romantic life of boaters. No we’re not shoveling snow, but I assure you we face our own challenges every day.

And then it’s all worth it, whenever the first porpoise of the day rises out of the water and starts swimming toward Slow Motion’s bow to engage us in another boat/porpoise race. The Indian River is chock full of porpoises right now, so we had multiple races in one day. These guys and gals were BIG – I wonder if the nuclear power plants along the way are somehow increasing their size. Or if they’re getting more milk in their diet. They are the most playful mammals in the world. One of them played hide and go seek with me for several minutes, as he/she swam from the port side to the starboard side and back, and only rose out of the water directly under the bow. She was camera shy, I guess. But she really seemed to enjoy having me run from side to side on the boat trying to capture her on film. Others came in groups, two on each side, and they did 360’s or just did half turns so they could eyeball me better. Oh please, please, in my next life, let me return as a porpoise, knowing what I have learned as a human.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in Fort Lauderdale, with every palm tree covered with lights and Santa and his rein deer flying on top of the Jungle Queen tourist boat. As Cath said yesterday, it’s not the Christmas we grew up with, in Michigan and Pennsylvania respectively, but after years of Christmas in California, I can adapt somewhat to the southern Florida Christmas scenario. You’re just not supposed to sweat at Christmas time, unless you’ve been shoveling snow for hours. And Santas all over Fort Lauderdale and Miami must be sweating bullets, as they walk to and from their air conditioned malls where they greet the believers. The traditional evergreen Christmas trees look a little bit out of their element in downtown Fort Lauderdale, but what’s Christmas without a Tannenbaum? Every city with a waterway is having a Christmas boat parade. We have our Christmas lights for Slow Motion, and when we get to Key Largo in a few days, we’ll dress her up. That’s another thing we didn’t have in Bethlehem, the Christmas City, when we were growing up – a boat parade down the Lehigh River. It was probably frozen over most years.

My friend Barbara is joining us for the trip from Fort Lauderdale to Key Largo. She has traveled to every part of this world at least once – okay, maybe not all of Africa and perhaps not Antarctica – but a lot of places, like Bhutan (who goes to the happiest land in the world?) and Machu Picchu. She has traveled by plane, bus, car, tuk tuk, train and boat – but this is her first time on Slow Motion. I hope the New River crazies don’t drive her nuts tonight. But it’s Sunday, and most of the weekend boaters will be home watching football – with any luck. We’re taking her to Red’s, the premier bar BQ ribs restaurant in the western hemisphere. Oh sure, we could dine at some chi chi place on Las Olas Boulevard, but where’s the fun of that? Barbara’s a gamer – she’ll do fine at Red’s. And early tomorrow we’re off to Miami in search of the remains of the Art Basel event. If we can’t find the Chihuly Exhibit, we may have to settle for cruising the mall at Mia Marina. Oh darn. Barbara weaned me off buying things at full price, as she introduced me to the 50% off sales racks. I am forever grateful that I’m not the last WASP paying retail prices. However, I’m not a great shopper, not even a good one, but it’s fun to watch a master at work. And Barbara is a master. We’re going to pick her up now.

Just one last thought: Honor the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom on December 7, 1941. And pray for the men and women in uniform who are protecting us today. If you know a veteran, give him/her a big hug and kiss. Come here, Admiral, it’s your turn!