CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE: THE SPIN ZONE

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE: THE SPIN ZONE

It’s Veterans Day, and I’m drawn out of bed at 7 a.m. by the smell of onions and the sound of chopping in the galley. Yep. The Admiral, a Vietnam veteran, is making soup. The weather is murky dismal, gray, windy, rainy, and chilly. But inside Slow Motion’s salon, it’s toasty warm and the soup aroma fills the space. The Admiral is not giving away what kind of soup he’s making for this auspicious holiday, but does mention that shrimp and crab might be involved. Shrimp, crab, celery, onion – sounds like a chowder to me. But you never know with the Admiral – he could make a 90 degree turn into some other concoction. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, we’re hanging out at the Georgetown Landing dock, waiting for Ernie to arrive to fix our steering problem. What? A problem with Slow Motion, “Old Reliable”? It’s true that this year we have led a charmed life – so far – on the waterway, with Slow Motion performing steadily and smoothly for the Admiral and me. Sure, we invested in new props and had her bottom painted – two coats – at Spring Cove in the summer, but that was necessary maintenance, not prompted by any breakdown on the part of Slo Mo. But yesterday, as we turned to go upriver to Georgetown Landing, Slo Mo’s steering went a little bit crazy. The Admiral was turning the wheel and Slo Mo was not responding. We were facing a very stiff current and thought at first that Slo Mo was getting caught up in it. As we did a 360, I thought about Scylla and Charybdis – anyone would – and watched the water swirl around us. Maybe Slo Mo just wanted to go on to Charleston, some 50 plus miles away.

But this was no time to ponder Slo Mo’s “intent”, as the Admiral tried to get control of the steering wheel on the flying bridge. After spinning around a few times – wondering how one gets out of a whirlpool – Slo Mo was brought back to the direction we were headed by the Admiral’s capable hands. Then the Admiral hastened from the flying bridge to the salon, where there is another steering wheel and set of controls. He directed me to take off the canvas that covers the windows of the salon, so that he could see and steer from that second set of controls. It is rather amazing that we have two entire sets of controls. But until this moment on November 10, we had only used the set on the flying bridge. The Admiral’s gambit was successful, as the steering wheel in the salon was functional. In short order the Admiral was able to get the rudder back into its normal position, and he was able to use the engines to “steer” us to the Georgetown Landing dock. We were safe, but Slo Mo clearly needed some attention. Not that I don’t enjoy the occasional spin, like the Wild Teacup ride at Disneyland. However, when the sun is going down, the wind is picking up, and I’m getting chilled to the bone – it’s kinda nice to be able to go in a straight line to your destination.

We hoped that we could find a repair person at 3:30 p.m. on Monday to put us back on the straight and narrow. The Georgetown Landing Marina does not have any mechanics on site, but the dock master, David, put us in touch with Ted, captain of The Big Kahuna (would I kid you?), who helped us diagnose the steering problem. With Ted’s help, we discovered that a small, hitherto unknown leak of hydraulic fluid in the steering system had caused the steering wheel on the flying bridge to become non-operational. We were unaware of the problem, because we had used auto-pilot all day and the auto-pilot was not affected. It wasn’t until we took the steering off auto-pilot to head for the marina that we found out that not all was well in “steering land”. And so, here we are, warm and cozy in our salon, waiting for Ernie to come to fix Slow Motion’s steering mechanism. Let’s hope it’s not Break. Out. Another.Thousand. Slow Motion has been very good to us, however, and we will return the favor by doing whatever is necessary to restore her ability to be steered straight and true down the Intracoastal Waterway. Ted put us in touch with Ernie, who is supposed to be the steering mechanism guru.

Maybe mechanical problems are contagious. We started out the day heading south from Lightkeepers Marina in North Myrtle Beach at 6:10 a.m. When we reached the Little River Swing Bridge (clearance: 7 feet) at 6:25 a.m., we were the first boat in line and we asked the bridge tender, a woman with a morning coffee and cigarettes voice, for an opening. This is an “on demand” bridge. She said “Right away.” And that’s when the fun began. As we all know, a watched pot never boils, but we were not aware – until yesterday – that a watched bridge never opens. We waited and watched for any sign of “swing” movement by the bridge to open. Nothing. Finally, our husky voiced bridge tender told us that there was a malfunction and the bridge would not open. She said she called the maintenance man, and it would be a thirty minute wait for his arrival. Aside: has anyone ever thought that on call bridge maintenance people should be no more than 10 minutes away from the bridge? After all, this is interstate commerce we’re talking about, not some single lane dirt road in the middle of Kansas. Boats started piling up behind us, as we waited for the mechanic. The throaty bridge tender reassured us that “usually” (USUALLY?) when there was a malfunction, the maintenance guy could fix it rather quickly. As we turned around and started cruising north to avoid the boat jam at the bridge, the Admiral war gamed our chances of getting to Georgetown, depending on the length of the delay. Fortunately, the bridge tender was right – the maintenance man put the “swing” back into the Little River Bridge in short order, and it opened for us at 7:30 a.m. Can I have an “Amen” to that? Hallelujah!  In the two and one half years that we have been traveling on the ICW, this is our first ever bridge malfunction – and hopefully our last.

Ernie our Savior has arrived and crawled into a space too tiny for either the Admiral or me. He found a very old hydraulic hose, probably an original going back to the birth of Slow Motion in 1994. It literally fell apart in his hands, so he’s off to get a replacement hydraulic hose. According to the Admiral, they are plentiful, because they are used in all boats and on earth movers as well. Slow Motion does not have that many original hoses any more, as far as we know. We replaced all the engine hoses some time ago. This has to have been the quickest diagnosis of a boat problem in history. Ernie is very savvy or very lucky or both. And he’s very motivated, what with two daughters in college in need of his financial assistance. Marine mechanics rule! Hope we can afford him.

Meanwhile, the sun came out and cleared away all the gray. The sky is blue. It’s actually warm outside for the first time in a few days. I’m not big into good omens or bad, but I’ll take a sunny blue sky any day over murky dismal. And if this means that “happy days are here again”, then so be it. Speaking of the Democratic Party’s theme song, how about the red scare sweeping the nation? It appears that everyone votes AGAINST someone or something, never FOR any candidate or issue any more. I returned to Monterey County to vote FOR Scott Miller for Sheriff, but he’s trailing by nearly 2000 votes, with 20,000 to be counted. We’ll have the results by December 2. I kid you not. The Monterey County Registrar takes the full 30 days he is allowed under law to count the ballots. So much for election night celebrations in close races. Stay up until midnight – it doesn’t matter – half the vote won’t have been counted. So the results you get are from 50% of the voters. Yes, you can definitely see a trend with that percentage, but you can’t necessarily pick the winner, when a few hundred votes, or even a few thousand votes, separate the candidates. It is so aggravating for me, the voter. Imagine how the candidates feel.

The Sheriff’s position is “non-partisan”, but that didn’t stop the Republican Party and one heavy hitter in particular (a relative of Miller’s opponent) from putting down $500,000 to beat Miller. This is Monterey County, folks, and that is big money for the Sheriff’s race. I’ve known Scott since he was a rookie cop with Salinas PD and part of the first DUI arrest team in the county. He is fluent in Spanish. His partner was not. So when Scott was not saving us from drunk drivers on the roads, he was testifying in dozens of jury trials about the DUI arrests he had made. He was by far the best witness I have ever had. It would be a terrible shame and a great disservice to Monterey County residents, if his opponent, a fifteen year deputy who could not pass the sergeant’s exam, stole this election with Republican bucks. The Republican Party leaders had approached Scott before the campaign and offered to back him, if he only registered as a Republican. He is an Independent. And he turned down their offer, so they went after him with a vengeance not often seen in a local Sheriff’s race. What is so absurd is that Scott is competent and his opponent is not. Period. So the only “reason” for the Republican Party to oppose Scott is to have a loyal Republican, albeit incompetent, Sheriff. All righty, then. This really sours me on the local Republican Party, that it cares so little about public safety it is willing to make an unqualified person the top law enforcement officer of the county. Can you spell “corruption”? A Sheriff should not be beholden to anyone, let alone an entire political party. What will the Repubs get for their $500,000 – an unlimited number of concealed carry permits? Free passes on DUI stops? An end to investigations into any Republican crooks? This is scary stuff. It would be equally scary if the Democrats had bought and paid for a winner in the Sheriff’s race. I am so disappointed with the voters in Monterey County. Well, they’re going to get what the Republicans paid for. A lot of terrible things can happen in a four year term. Good luck and God bless.

On to a happier subject. The Admiral and I helped Jake and Michael celebrate Jake’s 70^th birthday the other night in Myrtle Beach at Jersey Mike’s. We all had cheese steaks fresh off the griddle. The Admiral and Michael indulged in The Big Kahuna. Jake had a chipotle cheese steak and I went traditional. For dessert, there was really only one place to go – the local Krispy Kreme factory, where we watched them make fresh glazed doughnuts from scratch. These hot pastries, right off the assembly line, are amazing. As Michael correctly pointed out, the fresh KKs have no calories whatsoever. So, on your next visit, order only fresh KKs. The taste is out of this world – you feel sorry for Dunkin’ Donuts and all the other would be doughnut franchises, because their product cannot hold a candle to a fresh KK glazed doughnut. I know of no better way to celebrate a landmark birthday than being with friends wolfing down KKs, preferably fresh ones. Don’t get me wrong – they’re all fresh. The Admiral had a custard filled chocolate covered doughnut and I enjoyed a raspberry filled glazed one, but J and M are right – there are no substitutes for the fresh ones. OMG, I had a sugar rush just thinking of our desserts.

Today, Veterans Day, is also Jake’s real 70^th birthday. Happy Birthday, my bookish friend! We miss you on the waterway, but you and Michael have shown us that there is life after the ICW adventure. Thank you for mentoring us. Happy trails to you, until we meet again.