CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO: SPECIAL RELATIONSHIPS

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO: SPECIAL RELATIONSHIPS

It’s that time of year again – October – reunion is in the air. I had a date with my five girlfriends, dubbed Bethlehem Babes by Pat, at Rehoboth Beach. Joaquin the Hurricane had been threatening to cancel our get together. He was clocking 120 mile an hour winds and landfall was predicted anywhere between North Carolina and Washington D.C. Then Joaquin veered northeast and tore up the shipping lines 150 miles off the East Coast. Not that we didn’t get wind and rain. It just wasn’t hurricane caliber. The Admiral gave me and the rest of my buddies an almost hourly update as we approached October 5, the first day of our three day extravaganza at the B and B, At Melissa’s. At the Admiral’s strong suggestion, I called some places not directly in the line of Joaquin’s winds and rain in case Rehoboth got flooded or all their trees were blown down on their power lines. The emails went back and forth furiously; meanwhile Melissa told me not to worry. She said the wind was gusting at 40 mph the weekend before our visit, but it was going to settle down by Monday. She was right. We had sunny skies, temps in the 70’s and a pleasant breeze during our three day stay. We got lucky.

No such luck for the residents of South Carolina who endured a 1000 year rain, as their dams broke, their rivers jumped the banks, and their major roads (even I - 95) were closed by flooding. Somehow we drove through South Carolina a day before all the dams burst and all the roads flooded. And when we returned, we only had to take one detour around a still closed part of I 95. Who wouldn’t want to visit Columbia the capital anyway, especially since Governor Nikki got the Legislature to remove the confederate flag from the state government’s grounds? Nikki was looking good for vice president after that event, but when it became known that she had budgeted a mere $260,000 for maintenance of the dams and bridges and road (as compared with North Carolina’s budget of millions),Nikki fell off the short list, and maybe even the long list, as Trump’s running mate. Even when they’re not flooded, South Carolina’s highways are barely drivable. Only Louisiana has highways in worse condition, thank you Bobby Jindal. What is it about governors of Indian heritage and bad roads? Do they not drive on their state’s highways? Do they fly everywhere? Well, Nikki and Bobby, if you don’t have good roads, you’ve got bupkus. No one wants to live in your state or drive through it, at the risk of ruining the shocks on their vehicle. You both need to find another line of work – one where you don’t have to spend any money, and your budget is always balanced. Stay away from Government, which is supposed to do things for its citizens, like provide them safe highways. And that costs money, which you have to raise through taxes. Got that? Obviously not. Boo!

Now as to the reunion, what an intense three days! Janie, Pat, Marlea, Carol V. and Carol G. and I stay in touch by email, phone, letters, cards throughout the year, but our face time together each year is qualitatively different. We remember Miss Mushlitz, our kindergarten teacher (for 5 of us), and Marlea remembered being afraid of first grade teacher, Mrs. Frederick. I remember John Kleppinger trying to force smaller boys into the coat closets and holding them in there – until Mrs. Frederick came into the classroom. Miss Leibert, 5^th grade, struck the hands of left handers until they switched to their right hands to write. She wore hundreds of metal bracelets that contributed to the pain when she struck your hand. Then who was it who kissed Johnny Johnson in the cloakroom? We still haven’t figured that one out. Or it’s still too intimate to reveal. We know more about each other than probably anyone in our families. But that’s only part of the uniqueness of our relationships. We do not wallow in nostalgia; we just enjoy bringing up new memories every time we meet. But we also enjoy living in the present and talking about the Big Issues of the day as well as talking proudly about additions to our families, like incredibly beautiful and talented grandchildren. And what a bunch of avid readers! My God, between us, we must read over 1000 books a year. So what’s not to like about a group of six beautiful women who are well read, smart as whips, full of common sense, and, dare I say, funny as hell?

Everyone has a distinctive laugh, but Pat’s laugh is one that stays in your heart and soul, even when you are thousands of miles away from her. And she laughs a lot, as we all do. You can always count on Carol V. for some outlandish comments – court jester type – which have us rolling off the couches and chairs in the B and B or at a stylish restaurant. Marlea keeps us entertained with her wide-eyed view of the world. Carol G. has great family and travel stories. And Janie makes us all feel safe and loved. Whether we break off into a subset of two, three, four, or five during the day, we always meet up for a communal dinner and the postprandial birthday cake which Pat brings every year. This year we celebrated becoming septuagenarians – I know, Marlea, for you not until November. It’s just a number, and as we look at each other we see ageless beauty that goes back sixty five years. It’s the energy level that hasn’t changed. Sure, we’ve all had major health challenges through the years, but we get stronger from battling them. And when we get together, we increase our collective energy sixfold. It’s amazing.

This year the Admiral drove me to the reunion – three days on the road, going and coming. And he stayed at the B and B with me. Now he’s an honorary Bethlehem Babe. We got preclearance for him, and because he was instrumental in getting me to Rehoboth and helping me navigate the B and B with my prosthetic right leg and rollator, it was a no-brainer to open our arms to him. The Admiral has had a difficult year, having been conscripted into the new role as full time caregiver for me, the unexpected patient. He has been helped through these trying months with words of support from all of the Bethlehem Babes, and they have all expressed their gratitude to him for helping me get my life back. The Admiral deserves a round of applause, nay, a standing ovation, for all the hardships he has endured. Driving daily through Miami rush hour traffic for more than a month to visit me in the two hospitals where I was confined was just one of the grueling hardships. How about putting up with the various weird moods I had because of medication I was given? How about helping me get through three awful weeks of withdrawal from opiates? How about doing all the grocery shopping and cooking, and looking for a couple of pairs of shorts I could wear with my prosthesis? How about – I think you get the point. The Admiral has been busy day and night meeting my needs, while trying to keep a little bit of his own life. Any caregiver knows exactly what I’m talking about. So make sure that standing ovation is a very long one for the Admiral. Hip, hip hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

I feel blessed to have such special relationships with the Babes and to have the Admiral by my side. My inner circle of support also includes my sister, Sue and her husband, Butch, my brother, Rusty and his wife, Lois, my college friend, Cathy, my Monterey County friends, Barbara and Sondra and Barbara’s “children”, Louisa and Alan, my Miami friends, Judy and Seth, my bicoastal friends, Jake and Michael, my Ohio friend, Vivian, my old Salinas roommate, Patty, my neighbors, Brenda and Royal and Olivia, my nephews and nieces, Dwight, David, Tanya and Gretchen, the Admiral's awesome daughters, my Key Largo boating pals Andy and Tom, my DA office buddies, and Tammy and Tonie. I know there are so many more (please do not feel slighted). You have been wonderful pillars of strength for me and great cheerleaders. You make me smile every day, at least once. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.